Because development should be hard, just like in the good old days.
Spring Hibernate Oracle Regex Tomcat
The enterprise-grade stack that ensures job security through complexity.
Why solve a problem in 10 lines when you can do it in 1000? Our XML configuration files alone will keep you busy until retirement.
Nothing says "enterprise" like spending 3 weeks setting up your development environment and another 2 weeks troubleshooting it.
Just like your knees after 30 years of sitting in the same office chair, our architecture has withstood the test of time (and refuses to change).
🙄 Build an entire app in days
🤦♂️ Simple, intuitive APIs
😒 Rapid development with immediate feedback
👎 Enjoyable developer experience
❌ Not enough meetings
✅ Spend months configuring your project
✅ Cryptic error messages to keep you guessing
✅ Multi-day compilation times so you can catch up on emails
✅ 17 layers of abstraction for maximum job security
✅ Daily 2-hour stand-ups to discuss XML namespaces
"I was about to finish our company project in 3 months using the TALL stack, but then I switched to SHORT. Now we've been developing for 3 years with no end in sight. Management is thrilled with our 'thoroughness'."
- Dave, 58, Enterprise Architect
"After switching to SHORT, I finally have time to micromanage my team while they wait for Oracle to start. I've never felt more important."
- Barbara, 62, Project Manager
"Thanks to the SHORT stack, I now have job security until I retire. No one else wants to maintain this codebase, and management is too afraid to rewrite it."
- Richard, 55, Senior Developer
"I used to worry that junior developers could understand my code. With SHORT, that's no longer a concern. Now I'm indispensable!"
- Margaret, 59, Solutions Architect
Join thousands of developers who have chosen the path of maximum resistance.
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